Wednesday, March 7, 2012

A matter of focus

It's not Christmas time now, as you are all very well aware of, but I simply have to show you these tapestries. Aren't they gorgeous? They are home woven and just fascinating to look at. Can you see what they look like?

Santa Claus and his wife, Lucia and her maids and star boys. I love them!

The one to the right is fascinating enough, but the one to the left has a little twist. Can you see? One in each row is different from the others. Some are harder to find than others. My ten-year-old was amazed that this could be done! :) I almost long for Christmas so that I get to put these on my wall somewhere. We brought them home from my husband's parental home today. I have more to show you some other day...

I've been thinking a lot the past few days. And this tapestry sort of put an image to my thoughts. I have mentioned to you that my hands are feeling weird. My wrists hurt, especially when I'm holding on to something (like a piece of crochet I'm working on), and my arms feel very tired. I can't even brush my teeth without taking a little break. Nothing strange really, since I have this unidentified rheumatic condition... But it's been hard for me. I want to use my hands. I've been so happy and grateful that I've been able to crochet and knit without pain or anything. I've almost built my world around it. And now I can't. Hopefully just temporarily, but still. I really should avoid it, since my wrists really don't appreciate it. And it makes me sad. And scared. What if I never will be able to do this the same way again?

I hate being cranky about my body. I want to stay positive. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it's so hard to avoid looking at the negative and focus on the positive things in your life. Like in this tapestry. Some of the different figures are hard to find, like the blond star boy (the guys in white, with cone hats). Some really stand out, like the Lucia with brown hair. Some of you might have seen her already in the first picture. It's really hard to try and focus on something else but her, right? Like sometimes it's hard to focus on the many positive things, and avoid looking at that one negative thing. Do you get it?

I know people, who shout "It's so unfair!" as soon as someone is hurt or ill. And I guess they're right. Life isn't fair. Some people have long, happy lives. Some have short, painful or really unhappy lives. And I do know this - my life is unfair. But not because of the pain, the immobility from time to time. No, it's unfair because I have so much. I'm so happy! I have a wonderful, loving and understanding husband, adorable, healthy kids, a big house, so many things I hardly know where to put it all, I always have something to eat, I have friends... do you want me to continue? Yes, it feels hard that I can't crochet or knit right now, it's meant so much to me to be able to do something, to make something concrete, even on a painful or immobile day. Now I can't, but there's still so much I can do! I can write (at least for a while), I can do paper crafts, I can play games with my kids, I have so many books waiting for me to read them. I really need to look at all the other figures, and avoid that brunette that wants to steal all my attention. I want to stay positive and appreciative of all I can and all I have!

I don't know if this makes sense to you at all. I always use too many words when I'm want to explain something... :) I'm just trying to say, that life brings bad stuff to all of us. Our time here is limited, and we honestly do not have any guarantees that we will have long, happy lives. But I do firmly believe that we will be happier if we try to focus on the good things life has brought us. Appreciate it, life is a gift! And all the happy moments too!

1 comment:

  1. you are so wonderful in your positive outlook. that's what will get you back to doing what you love. :) :) I'm so sorry you're in pain and hope there is a way to relive it. do those tight gloves help you at all...they look like bandages and are for painful hands and wrists...
    I tried to write the other day but it wouldn't let me...Nilla I hope you feel better soon and please let us know how you're doing... lots of love my dear